A wedding vow that encompasses promises is meant to declare and confirm the soon-to-be spouse of your pledge and intentions. A promise is a declaration or assurance that someone will perform, do, and arrange something. Wedding vows are not a legal requirement, so do not stress about the time or length of your vows.
What are wedding vows?
Wedding vows and wedding promises go hand in hand. They are synonymous as you hold hands and state to all those around you what your intentions are to each other and your future.
We all know the traditional wedding vow:
I, _______, take you, _______, to be my wife/husband/partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part.
Then, we have couples that love tradition but need just a little more oomph. Now we can have some fun and personalize the vows and promises you will state aloud in front of family and friends. Wedding vows can include:
- Short readings from poems or stories
- A quote that holds meaning to you both
- Even a soft background song or piece plays while you state your wedding vows.
Either way, it is your day, no one else, so make it 100% yours.
Why should I include promises in my wedding vows?
Close up couple holding pinkies fingers in the park in autumn as swear and promise gesture in a wedding ceremony.
Promises make it personal. Promises are a natural component when the vows are written because you have promised each other things since you first met…without even realizing it. Marriage promises can be serious, humorous, or a combination of both. I like to write relationship promises because they reveal your connection to each other.
What are good promises to make in vows?
The best promises are the ones that are true and speak to your partner’s heart and soul. On that day, and at that moment, no one else will exist. You are holding hands and looking at each other, deeply and differently than ever before. Perhaps for the very time. How wonderful is that?
Promises come from beautiful experiences and things you have learned about each other over the years.
“I promise to watch Hallmark Movies with you until we are old and gray.”
“I promise to help you look for your keys for the 100th time and not be angry.”
Most people can write and recite the standard vows to love and cherish, but the most romantic vows represent the life you have built and the life you will share.
How long should wedding vows be?
The average length of spoken wedding vows is no longer than three minutes. The written length of an average wedding vow is under 600 words.
What are the best wedding promises?
Couples ask me all the time:
- How long are normal wedding vows?
- What is a normal number of promises to include in our vows?
- Who normally speaks the vows first?
- When are the vows normally said?
Do you see a pattern here? Normal? There is no normal- there is only you. It is your day as two single people about to become one. To state your intentions and true feelings—words and expressions that will forever be in your memory and your hearts.
Writing wedding vows and promises can be intimidating.
Whether you embrace traditional wedding vows and add a twist or write your own, there is no right or wrong way. It is up to you as a couple to decide what is best for you both. I want to share a few parting thoughts:
- Be prepared and practice. Do not wait until the night before to take the vows for a spin.
- Do not partake in a bit of champagne in the limo on the way to the ceremony. It will not help you relax; it is not your friend. Please save it to toast each other on the way to the reception.
- Remember that on that day and at that moment, it is only the two of you.
If you need a little guidance or someone to capture your feelings and write the vows for you, reach out and schedule a time with me. Congratulations, and I wish you a long and healthy life together.
Karen
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