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Karen Lombardo

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Man of Honor / mylittlelovenote / Weddings

Can I choose a Man of Honor?

Jul 6, 2021

You’re getting married, and it is time to select the bridal party and the all-important maid of honor. Of course, your best friend is a guy, so you wonder, can you choose him to be the man of honor? Absolutely!

The pandemic has given couples a free pass to be creative in their choice of ceremony traditions and practices. Brides are inspired to choose a man of honor as a way of including a brother or best friend in a key role on her special day.

What is a man of honor?

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A man of honor takes on the maid of honor role with some creative alterations to the duties and attire of a traditional maid of honor. Simple.

Reevaluate the usual maid of honor duties

Simple? Yes, but it may take a bit of unconventional and out-of-the-box non-traditional thinking. Change up traditional ‘bridesmaid’ duties and functions.

  • Try a Jack and Jill shower to incorporate all the bridesmaids and groomsmen and eliminate a great deal of the stress of traditional and sometimes expensive events.
  • The bridal procession to the altar is wide open for interpretation. For example, you can have the groomsmen walk first, then the bridesmaids, followed by the man of honor before the bride and her dad/escort take center stage. Or, if the party is smaller, say 4-6 attendants, everyone can walk single file. There are no rules!
  • Hmm, what about the dress code? Be creative. He could dress similarly to the groomsmen or stand out in a unique take on the tuxedo cut and color of the groomsmen.
  • Guess what? You can have a maid of honor and a man of honor! This dynamic duo can get traditional duties done and introduce some unique ideas to the wedding planning process.

Include your bridesmaids in the discussions. Most likely, they know him well and respect your relationship. Hold an event or evening out to introduce the bridal party to each other as they start the planning process. They really are a team, your team, and the more they know each other, the easier the planning will be and your day will come off without a hitch.

Crafting the man of honor speech

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I would venture to guess that most people have not attended a wedding with a man of honor.  The speech is distinctive as it stands on its own because the man of honor is neither the maid of honor nor the best man. Therefore, the designation is unique and should be treated as such.

When the bride selected a man of honor, as opposed to a maid of honor, she bestowed upon him the highest form of regard, love, and respect. The speech should address the value of the relationship and the history that brought it all together on the wedding day. As in any other wedding speech or toast,  the speech needs to be genuine and reflective of the emotions and feelings of the day. The culmination of the speech conveys gratitude for being selected in such an essential role.

Are you ready to choose your man of honor?

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Choosing a man of honor is not about breaking tradition or adding shock value to the ceremony. It is all about friendship, love, and history. The groom or partner is ‘the one’ the bride has committed to and will cherish all the days of her life. The man of honor is there to see to it nothing gets in the way of saying, “I Do!”

It may have taken some courage for your man of honor to accept your kind invitation. Statistically, nearly 50% of people asked to be in a wedding party or participate in a wedding are hesitant and nervous about accepting. (and that is in traditional roles!) The man of honor may be in uncharted waters, so include him in all activities and let him decide how and where he is comfortable. The groom can be of assistance knowing the importance of your relationship with the man of honor.

Be creative, and enjoy planning your wedding day in whatever format and fashion you decide on as a couple. Your bridal party is there to help, so invite them in!

Don’t hesitate to hire a speechwriter.

Give him the gift of hiring a speechwriter to help him with the speech. We create custom and personal wedding speeches capturing his thoughts about you, the groom, and your special day.

Schedule a free consultation to collaborate on the ideal man of honor speech. (We will work practicing the delivery too!)


resources- Martha Stewart

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